Grief: Remembering Mom
As I write this post I am remembering my mom 9/23/2020. This would have been her 1/6/2024 94th birthday. I miss her with all my heart.
She is the person that believed in me and pushed me to become a Minister. Her love and support throughout my life is the reason I am here now.
In 1980, my mom discovered my dad had taken his life. She was devastated, depressed and suicidal. To be honest we both were. Because in dealing with our Grief in our own way we drifted apart.
At this time just before my 16th birthday, I felt as if I had lost both parents. One in the physical way and the other emotionally. We kept our feelings to ourselves and did not talk to each other about what happened.
Years later the bond and relationship we shared before the loss of Dad was restored.
She was diagnosed with Dementia in 2019 and she went on Hospice in 2020.
I was working when she slipped into a coma. I am grateful that we always ended our calls with I LOVE YOU. I was not able to tell her consciencely but I know that she knew.
One of her wishes was to remain in her house. Just before she went on hospice, we considered moving her into assisted living. Then Covid hit and that was off the table.
Her other wish was for me to be with her when she passed. I was able to be with her until she took her last breath. I am grateful for my friends that were available via phone to pray with both of us. Grateful for the love and support in my time of need.
I had not been with anyone as they took their last breath before. I am grateful for the Hospice Chaplain that prayed with us the day she passed I believe all the prayers helped her cross over in piece.
Grief is not something that you get over in a day, week, month, year or years. Grief is a state of mind. It is an emotion that we cannot ignore.
Mom thank you for the years we shared, and I miss the fun times we shared in Las Vegas with Carol. I wish we could go again.
Knowing that the Love we shared will forever reside in my heart.
I love you and miss your Sweet Presence.
Your loving daughter.
Rev. Linda.